The New Years' birds, at first, I got that. Something freaked them out. They died of heart attacks, mid-flight, and it was creepy, but kind of Metal, so not completely worrisome. Then the fish come in wafting in, all eyeless and starved, and we're getting a little spooked.
Anderson Cooper interviews Kirk Cameron about it, and we all go, "Huh?" but we figure it's okay, because weird junk happens, but then Snooki or someone checks into rehab, and we move on.
Then more birds die. And more fish. And not just in the Bible Belt, but in Australia and Sweden and some other places that have no business copying the bird/fish thing we've got going on. It's MADNESS.
The Bees are on their way out, as well as the Monarch butterfly, and we're fresh out of Ibex and Black Rhino. And pandas are all like, "I knew we should have gotten out of here when the gettin' was good."
The question I have is, at what point do I break open the #10 cans of wheat kernels and bust out the stored water barrels ? Yesterday?
As if I didn't have enough to worry about.
Feel free to leave your best Apocalypse advice in the comments section. Unless you're already dead. Then, just go ahead and save me a seat.