Last night, I dazzled dinner companions with my bright smile and easy conversations, and not once did I put anyone off by challenging her to a cuss-word contest. Eric and I smoothly paid for dinner, and I was sure to compliment our companions on their adorable son, who I managed to win over immediately with my charm.
Her husband just loved it when I asked him about his job and his interests, and totally got that he was serious about loving soccer, before I kind of, sort of made a joke that soccer is for hooligans.
Unicorns served our dinner, and I tipped them generously with buffalo nickels and a map to the lost city of Atlantis. It started to rain cash, so we bid adieu in a timely manner, and not at all awkwardly where I just start to stand up and call it a night.
It went smoothly, and they will totally take us up on our (appropriate and appealing) offer to come sit on our immaculate and stylish couch and watch TV with us. I know this, because I am awesome.
OH MY GOSH, CONGRATULATIONS TO MRS. MOUTHY ON THE NEWEST ADDITION TO THE FAMILY!!