Wednesday, May 20, 2009

As a sort of continuation on the nerd theme, I woke up this morning and thought that it was possible that I time traveled.   I know, I know, somebody's been watching too much Lost.  You know those moments when your ...  atmosphere?... feels different?  The rain outside made the air inside feel heavier, and the overcast sky  coming through the brown curtains darkened my bedroom with a sepia tint.  My newly washed sheets smelled like clothes fresh out of a suitcase, and for just a moment, with the ceiling fan running on high, and the morning birds chirping, I thought I was back in the guest room at my friend's mom's house in Memphis.  Back in 2000, I stayed with her for a week to unwind after sophomore college finals.  I half-expected to hear her in the kitchen below me, washing blueberries for breakfast, the wood floors creaking with life.  

If it was true, if I really had time traveled, that's where I'd go.  I'd kill seven strangers to relive that week in May.  There are some things I might "do-over" but for the most part, I wouldn't change a thing.  I can only think of a couple of other places I've been in my life where I've felt even half as alive as I felt there.  If I believed in past lives, I'd be totally convinced I once lived in the South.  Probably near the river.  I was so whole there.  Connected to the earth, and to the people on it.  Connected to music, and connected to the written word, and connected to myself.  It's where I felt the most brave, and the most adventurous, and the most loved, and the most at peace.  I only knew a handful of faces on that trip, but everyone felt like my neighbor.  We were in this together.  We were alive.  Have you ever been to the South?  Is it just me who feels like there's something cosmically superior about that place?  The people who flock to Sedona have it all wrong.  If they just went to Memphis, they wouldn't have to buy all that ugly art.  

This morning I felt connected again.  Something was very right with the world.  I woke up, and realized, okay, I hadn't time traveled, and nobody was washing any blueberries for me, but it sure felt nice to be in that state of mind again.  It was good to remember.  I got out of bed, showered right away, read a book to my baby, made oatmeal, fruit, and potatoes for breakfast, and then made my bed.  I sent out some e-mails, called my sisters, opened all my windows to let the fresh air in, and my kids and I made music for a while.  

Later, Lennon turned on SpongeBob, and then I got on Facebook, and Harrison took off his diaper, and somewhere in all of that, we lost a little bit of the magic, but thinking about it now, I realize it's all a state of mind, isn't it?  Sure, it helps to have some sensory reminders of happiness, but that's just a jump start.  It's my responsibility to carry that through my day.  I'd like to work harder on that.  Because time travel would be cool and all, but living in the now?  Really living?  That just might be the answer I'm looking for.  

8 comments:

Katy said...

Great post... great great post.

Kristin said...

I can vouch for Memphis and the South in general being just gorgeous places...so different from here because they are SO GREEN. I love it. But I love Sedona more.

mrsmouthy said...

I totally feel the same way about Switzerland after spending 2 summers there. I'm pretty sure the story Heidi is based on one of my past lives.

BTW, we're not strangers, are we?

Renee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Renee said...

Thanks Katy

Kristin, I wish you could have gone with better company. That one guy sounded CRAZY.

Rachel, I've always thought you'd look good with braids. And BTW, No. Just strange.

diane said...

I have not been to Memphis, but I have been to Tulsa (which was like being here but mroe green) and I have been to Lexington, KY. I must say, it was beautiful country, but the people there were WEIRD. I wouldn't live there for hardly anything. I am not a southern kinda girl. At all. Which is sad cos I always thought I was.

Alexa said...

come back. i'll wash tons and tons and tons of blueberries if you'll come. i'll grow my own blueberry plants, just come :)

Alexa said...

come back. i'll wash tons and tons and tons of blueberries if you'll come. i'll grow my own blueberry plants, just come :)