Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Halloween is going to cause me to stroke out

I am starting on the kids' costumes, which, if you're a mom, might be slightly misleading. I am starting on the kids' costumes for THIS year. Yeah, 2010. No, for Halloween. The Halloween in October. Yeah, I know.

See, for those who have never tried to sew their kids' costumes with the skills of a 14-year-old in freshman Home Economics, this is way, way, way too late. I am asking for trouble. The kind of trouble that ends in me either breaking down and spending $80 on costumes at the Disney Store, or putting sheets on their heads the night of the Trunk or Treat, and telling them to kick it, old school.

This year's costumes are fully dependent on each other. If I can't figure out how to sew these red shortalls while allowing for "diaper give" (which is a real thing, and it's hell), then I might as well give up on trying to find a blue sheer for her sleeves. Also, how do you even go about making a hat like that?? I want to say, "Well, there didn't always used to be patterns, Renee... I'm sure you can figure it out" but that hat is 100% Old Italian, and I refuse to compare myself to the people who figured out Pizza. I'm not entirely convinced I don't need magic to make a hat like that. Good nonsense, I'm going to get everything right, but that hat, aren't I?

Today the problem is her dress. There has got to be a pattern that doesn't require a zipper. Or velcro. Freshman Home Ec, guys. You have the pattern I need don't you? Stashed away in the back of a closet? It's even cut out for a six-year-old skinny bones, and everything. Are you telling me it's already been sewn? You HAVE the blue dress I need?? Why didn't you tell me????? Ugh, I could kill you or kiss you right now. Get that dress to me. Get it to me NOW.

Halloween, you do things to me.

Of course, I'll keep you updated on the progress.

UPDATE: Duh. I forgot to mention that I'm making Pinocchio and the Blue Fairy.

UPDATE 2: I made his red shortalls. It took me sewing four pairs of shorts before I realized that I need to measure my kid. He is not allowed to grow even one centimeter between now and October 31, or he will bust a seam. I will put him on the HCG diet before I sew him a new pair. Swear. He loves wearing it now that it's done. In fact, he hasn't taken it off. I let him eat in it, because I'm crazy. Total cost so far: $0. I had a ton of red fabric from a dress I almost made, I took the buttons off of one of my cardigans, and I used brown thread because that's what I had lots of. Also, no pattern, because this is so going on my Project Runway audition tape. No pictures until I'm done and/or I put new batteries in the camera. Sorry.

UPDATE 3: If anyone call him Roger Rabbit, I will bust a cap.


Kristin said...

What costume are you trying to make?

Luann said...

You're ambitious Renee. My mom always sewed our costumes. I can't sew anything but curtains. Part of me wonders if costumes are even worth it this year since Halloween is on Sunday. I think sheets all around is a great idea.

Renee said...

Luann, I had no idea Halloween was on Sunday. I'll be honest... after all the work I'm going to be putting into these things, I am pretty sure Halloween could fall on Christmas day, and I'd still take these kids out to get candy.

witticism here said...

A couple years ago I needed B to have red overalls. I went to the thrift stores looking for them and after nada I found a red overall dress and decided to just make the shirt part pants. It was the only brilliant idea I have ever had when it comes to sewing. The rest of the time I just try to keep my fingers out of the way of the needle.

The Wizzle said...

You are awesome. Not even I am planning to attempt sewing Halloween costumes. Although, my big kids are just being Harry Potter and Hermione so really, just black sacks we are talking here.

I am all about the $0 Halloween costumes. They are not supposed to cost a bunch of money, they're just not. Halloween costumes are to be made from old clothes, bedsheets, pipe cleaners, and dryer vents. Old school, indeed.

Anonymous said...

I would say I hate people like you if I didn't know you. We bought Ks Halloween costume last year when it was on clearance for a dollar. Like it or not, he WILL be a white ninja. Maybe when he's old enough to care, I might change my ways. But then again, I can't even wind my own bobbin...dirty joke in there somewhere.

diane said...

I can't believe you are sewing their costumes. I am fairly sure you have lost your mind.
I will proudly be heading to the s-t-o-r-e to buy costumes for the boys. In fact, Spirit Halloween Superstore is overpriced, really stinky, and I love it.
Consumerism wins again.

Anonymous said...

Are you going as Jiminy Cricket? You know...Pinocchio's spokesperson (oops! conscience).

Did the Blue Fairy punch Pinocchio's nose in or was it magic?