Saturday, June 5, 2010

What you might do if you were me. but probably not

Typical schedule:

5am Wake Up. Turn off alarm six times.

5:30am Wake Up for real. Take shower. Dress. Eat Breakfast.

6am Cab driver knocks on door. I take five minutes of everyone's time to find my cane. It's under the couch. It's always under the couch.

6:20am Cab driver makes second pick up. Too early. So we wait in the car for twenty minutes. Like schmucks.
7:00am Cab driver makes third pick up. She is pissed off. She is always pissed off.

7:30am We are at the Blind School. Too early. I curse my town for having a far-sounding name, when it isn't far at all. I vow to tell the cab driver to change my pickup time to 6:30. (I inevitably break that vow, because I'm a wimp.)

8am Activities of Daily Living. I use a knife and a blindfold to cut a tomato, and try not to feel like a loser for being excited that I did it. Sometimes we do Career Exploration. Sometimes I cry.

10am Braille. I spend two hours sounding out sentences like "The lad had a dad" and "Ida cooked a cake" like a four year old. (Pssst, Braille Book, "baked" would have worked just as well in that sentence.) At the end of the two hours, I feel like a genius and a superstar. Explain that one.

12pm Lunch. Peanut Butter and Jelly, Crackers, a nutty bar, and a drink. I am reminded that I don't like to watch other people eat. I am reminded that, soon enough, I won't have to worry about that. (BURN!)

12:59pm I wish I were home.

1pm Orientation and Mobility. We walk around the city with a blindfold on in 100 degree heat. I almost die at least six times. I feel awesome. And exhausted.

3pm Cab picks me up. I read a book in the car and make myself sick.

4:30pm We get home. All I want to do is sleep. I pick up my kids instead. Somehow, once I'm there, I don't care about sleeping anymore. All I want to do is hug them and kiss them and call them George.

5pm They whine and cry and fight. I change my mind. I want them out of my house.

6pm Dinner. Sort of.

7pm I'm ready for bed. I watch The Bachelorette instead.

10pm Somehow, I realize I was also sucked into True Beauty. I feel shame.

10:13pm Crash.


The Wizzle said...

No, that pretty much sounds like exactly what I would do if I were going to Blind School. Only I would probably watch Project Runway and Say Yes To The Dress. The shame!

monika said...

I bet your driver wishes you would change your pick up time to 6:30am. She would possibly get a half hour more sleep and then maybe not be so angry all the time. win win for all ;)

diane said...

12 pm and 5 pm are my favorites.

Becky said...

I remember that schedule and it is exhausting! You describe it well -- brings back memories and I can say now I am glad I did it (if that helps :D)

Sarah Beau Bera said...

I want to watch true beauty and the bachelorette but i never remember when they are on. I am tired just reading about your day.

meghan said...

Ohmigosh Kelly does the "love them and hug them and call them george" thing with his kids! I feel kindred spirits!

Anonymous said...

I don't know why, but I cried when I read this. Isn't there an acronym for that? COL?

I'm glad you love your school.