Tuesday, March 30, 2010

La La How the Life Goes On

I went to see Paul McCartney live this weekend. I want to express to you all just how unreal that feels to write out, knowing it's true.

I don't feel like I'd do any justice to the experience, trying to explain how that all went down. In short, Eric has an amazing cousin. I think I should leave it at that. Rachel and Jason are awesome. Done.

I came out of the experience feeling something I didn't think I'd feel: I'm now one step closer to being ready to lose my sight. I SAW a Beatle perform live. That's more than many sighted people see. I guess I sort of feel like a wish has been granted, and therefore, somehow, everything that happens after this, is happening for a reason. Like a story is being told, and we just got to the part where you have no idea how it's going to end, but you know it's going to be awesome (Which reminds me, where my LOST fans at?). I'm at the point where I know this story won't be a tragedy. People don't see Paul McCartney in tragedies. It's in his contract.

Paul isn't my favorite Beatle, by any means, but I do owe much of my strength to his lyrics. Let It Be. Blackbird. Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da (only sort of joking about that one). Hearing him sing those songs, live and in person, added a new dimension to my love for them. They felt real. Because of how I got to hear them. Because of when I did. Because of who I was with. Because.

I guess I feel like this is where analysis ends, and life is okay to start, because I've thought enough about it, and I'm going in with some knowledge, and it's okay to make the mistakes, and it's okay to fall, and it's even okay to lose sight, or lose money, or lose control, or even lose my life. The point, now, is to just do my best with what I've been given. And let the rest fall where it may. It's not really up to me anyway. It's time to recognize the life I've been given for all its beauty and all its pain. And if it's not all enlightenment from here on out, that's okay too. I'm just happy I'm here, getting to do things I never thought I could, knowing that they occurred in a way that was best for me.

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.


witticism here said...

I'm so glad you were able to go. This is truly a once in a lifetime experience!

The Wizzle said...

I totally get this. You know, life is not a contest where whoever gets to the end with the biggest house, or the most balanced budget, or the trimmest waistline, wins. It's just...life. If you love something, go the hell after it. Learning happens, good happens, bad happens. It is good.

Katy said...

Wow Renee. You've come so far and it's so good to read how you're feeling about everything. I was feeling all sentimental, then you blasted that last blackbird line on me and I teared up. I'm so happy for you

Sarah Beau Bera said...

I should just learn to stop reading your blog at work. I am either going to laugh at loud and make everything I'm crazy. Or, like today, tear up.

I'm glad you went to see Sir Paul.

Sarah Beau Bera said...

I meant to type "and make everyone think I'm crazy".

Have I mentioned i write for a living?

diane said...

Renee, seriously, I love this post. I love that you went and saw Paul. I love that you went with that wonderful husband of yours. I love that you are having a wonderful awareness about it all. I loved the Blackbird quote. My heart is so happy reading this today.

amber and alma said...

Wow, that is so amazing. I am so glad that you went and had a great experience. I know you will remember it forever. Perspective is everything.

Anonymous said...

My name is Rachel...and I'm awesome...

Also, you're no closer to losing your sight for seeing the concert. Life is not a fairy tale. If it were I would have been made queen by now and those bitchy girls from high school would be working on the pig farm. They're not. I checked.

So I think you're okay.