I don't really talk about my sight all that often on here. Partly because I'm slightly in denial, and partly because I think it bores everyone. "Yeah, we get it Renee, you're going blind... Don't you have anymore Christmas movies to review?" Okay, so everything I talk about is boring. Not the point.
I wouldn't even bring up my vision again, except that I watched American Idol, and Ryan Seacrest's high five made it sort of impossible to ignore. Just in case you don't know what I'm talking about:
I don't know how many times this has happened to me in my life. No really, I don't know. I couldn't know. I have a good feeling it's happened quite a few times though. Every so often, I'd get, "Hey, don't leave me hanging!!" and I'd be like, "What? Said Who?" And then I'd realize there was a hand in my face, and I'd try my hardest to focus and make contact with that hand, and then brush it off, like I didn't just stand there for a good twenty seconds with a hand in my face.
In this clip, Ryan comes across as the douche, because the other guy is holding a cane, but let's just pretend, for a second, that we don't know Curly is vision-impaired. He's just a guy, leaving Ryan hanging. Who comes across as the douche now?
Welcome to my world. Where I grew up with everyone believing I was a douche.
So, now that it's out in the open, let's agree that high fives are no longer accepted on my end. Pats on the back, thumbs up, pumped fists in the air - all good ways to show I did something awesome. I formally release the title of douche when high fives go unanswered. You present a high five, be prepared to accept and hold the doucheness on your end.
And if you even think of doing that thing where you go for the high five and then quickly take your hand away and pretend to slick back your hair? Douche to the max. We are no longer friends.