Thursday, November 20, 2008

Pumpkin Bean

I'm just so sad right now.

Lennon woke up early and climbed into bed with me this morning. She yawned one of those big exaggerated yawns that I think she learned from the watching lions on Animal Planet, and said in a sleepy voice that she loved me.

I said I love you too, and she said, in an even sleepier voice, "Mommy, I have to tell you something."

So I said what's up? and then she laid it on me.

The other girls in her Little Gym class don't like her. They tease her, and call her names.

So I wanted to know what kind of names.

Pumpkin Bean, she said, serious as punch. And she told the Little Gym teacher, who told the girls not to tease, but they only teased quieter.

So I hugged her and I said that Pumpkin Bean is just what mean girls say to girls they don't know very well, and weren't there any girls in the class who were nice to you?

She said the boy in the class is nice, and he doesn't care that she's only four, but all the girls are big girls, and they tease. She also said I shouldn't call anyone "mean" because that's not a nice thing to say about someone.

So I hugged her tighter and said not to worry about girls who tease because they just don't know how much it hurts when someone teases, since they have as many friends as they think they need. Lennon said they knew it hurt, because they laughed when she almost cried.

I think I caused internal damage with the hug I gave Lennon, and then I told her that she was beautiful and smart and most importantly, she knows what it means to be a friend. I told her not to forget how it feels being on the outside, so that she never makes fun of anyone else. I told her it was good that she told the teacher, and that if they keep teasing afterwards, she can tell them that she has no idea what a Pumpkin Bean is, but that she thinks it's a dumb thing to call someone, and whoever made it up is dumb too.

She told me she'd never call anyone dumb. I know she's serious about that. Lennon is the kind of kid who forgives even the biggest offenses. She can stick up for herself, and I've even seen her fight back when backed into a corner, so I know she's not a doormat, but she believes everyone is her friend or a friend-to-be, and she just doesn't want to hurt anyone. If those bigger girls are going to keep being mean to her, Lennon would rather just walk away and never look back. She has a world of friends, and doesn't feel the need to waste time with the girls who are going to call her names.

I, on the other hand, want to go back there and call out those little turds with the matching leotards and the parents who raised them, and make them all rue the day they called Lennon a Pumpkin Bean. Stupid cliquey brats, justwanttocutintotheirmostvulnerableemotionsandmakethemcryuntiltheireyesfalloutandthentheirmomscrybecausetheirdaughtershavenoeyesandthentheireyesfallouttooandthenwe'llseewhohastroublemakingfriendsgoingaroundalleyeless...

Yeah, on second thought, I think I'll let Lennon handle it.


diane said...

Girls are mean. Obviously Lennon excluded. Sorry. Have you read the mama-bear posts from my sister Vicky? I know you've read my mom's. If you haven't read Vicky's you should take a look.
Hugs to you and Lennon!

Renee said...

I think Vicky's blog is private.

Luann said...

My friend was telling me how her son has behaviors that could be considered "uncool" and would probably attract teasing. She was telling him how he should act differently or he might not have any friends, but then realized how wrong that was. We can't teach are kids that being accepted by others more important than being yourself. So as much as we want to protect their feelings, we still have to let them be who they are while silently wishing we could beat the crap out of other people's children. Although I'm hoping G gets a few more crybaby comments at school so he stops breaking into waterworks all the time. It drives me insane!

Mama's Place said...

All us mama bears feel the same pain you are feeling Renee. It makes me completely insane to see children being mean and nasty to each other. And when my child or grand child is involved it get ugly.

Scarlet said...

I truly feel your pain because I too have a Little Gym Issue. There is a little girl in Brooklyn's class we'll call Layla and the little B-R-A-T keeps shoving Brooklyn. And I can see brooklyn telling her no and to stop it to no avail. So finally Brooklyn shoves back and then and only then does Miss Amy see it and tells Brooklyn to be nice. I have had countless fictional conversations with both teacher and B-R-A-T's mom but not really sure how to approach it so no real ones yet. thank goodness the semester is almost over.

Sarah Beau Bera said...

Oh that breaks my heart. I laughed at the end though. Give her another hug from me. I hate it when kids are hurtful to one another - I remember all the the nast things kids used to say to me when I little.

diane said...

After reading Little Gym issues (and hearing about a co-worker's LG issues with his daughter) I am glad I have always been too broke to afford it.

mrsmouthy said...

That TOTALLY sucks but it's okay because in 20 years all those other girls will be FAT.

But really they're just trying to get a reaction out of Lennon--any reaction--so L's best way of getting to them is by not showing that it affects her.

What a bummer that they're ruining Little Gym for her!

diane said...

Email me (I lost your email address - stupid work email program) and I will send you the copy of Vicky's post.

Sheri_Beri said...

Awwwww... You babe is so sweet!!