I have SO MANY THINGS TO SAY!!!!! AGGHRHHRRFFFDHHHH!!!!!
It's not like anything I have to say is IMPORTANT or anything, it's just a lot of stuff I meant to blog about, and didn't. So now I'm going to pack it all in now, and my blog is going to be like, "Ohmygosh, I feel like a SUCH a fatty" and it's going to go in the bathroom and come out smelling like Orbitz and spew. Sorry.
Okay, NUMBER ONE, my kids got their flu shots. If any of you were around for last year's influenza vaccine craziness (in which I searched high and low for something that wouldn't pump my unborn fetus full of toxins), you would know that I pretty much spazzed out for a good day or two this time around, and then got shots for all, and then ended up getting sick anyway. I love traditions.
NUMBER TWO, I am planning a Disney vacation, in the midst of economic turmoil, and it feels fabulous. "It" being "Not Having Money Or Promise Of Money Or Even The Semblance Of Anything Worth Money, And Planning A Vacation That Defies All Logic And Reason". Like I said, Fabulous.
NUMBER THREE, I watched Kath & Kim (NBC, between Earl and Office) and hated it. Then I watched it the following week and didn't hate it. We're through the looking-glass, people.
NUMBER FOUR, I am trying to watch every movie that it significant to pop culture before I lose my sight and movies mean nothing to me. This past week I watched Deliverance, Witness, JFK, and Batman. I'd seen Batman before, obviously, but I was like, nine, and really unclear about the awesomeness of Prince. Next week, Million Dollar Baby, a revisitation of Beetlejuice, and King Kong. If you would like to make suggestions (even if you think I might have already seen it), feel free to leave them in the comments. I want to be the blindest movie expert you know.
NUMBER FIVE, we are driving to Utah and spending a few days there. For some reason I thought that October in Utah was maybe the equivalent of January in the Arctic, so I went out and bought my kids sweaters, jackets, coats, pants, hats, mittens, and thermal pajamas, and then I looked up the 10-day forecast on The Weather Channel.com and found out we're looking at 65 degrees. I feel stupid, but if my kids go to the Arctic this January, we are going to be stylin' and profilin'. Whatever that means. You guys, I hate packing for trips.
NUMBER SIX, I hate packing for trips. Here's why, some more. I always think I'm overpacking. I always plan for the worst, and put in five pairs of socks for a four-day trip, in case some socks get wet or something, and I think about all possible scenarios for events and weather, and I bring the entire medicine cabinet, and an extra pillow or two, and then we get there, and I find out I forgot something as basic as pants, and so all my efforts are for nothing, because I'm not leaving the hotel room without pants, I don't care how many pairs of underwear I've got on.
NUMBER SEVEN, the guy who wrote the Real Ultimate Power ninja book just wrote a book about Aliens and Ghosts, and it comes out in November, and I'm anticipating this thing the way you guys were anticipating Breaking Dawn. You guys are all, "EDWAAAAAAARD!!!! <<<<33333" and I'm all, "ROBERT HAMBURRRRRRRGERRRRRRRRR!!!! <3<3<3<3" and I'm really not sure how my brother and I are going to be able to wait until Christmas to buy the book for each other.
And finally NUMBER EIGHT, I'm sorry about not giving anyone anything to read for the next week or so. In the meantime, I suggest you save up the five minutes a day you normally spend reading my blog, and at the end of the week, take a half hour of your life to write me the most amazing haiku you've ever seen, OR you can eat some Taco Bell in my honor, OR just go vote early, and get it over and done with, so we can put this election nonsense behind us.
Okay bye now.