Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Here You Go

I swear guys, I've started like a hundred blog posts, but I just can't seem to get anything published. If you're reading this, you should squint real hard and look for the outline of Jesus within the text, because you're smack dab in the middle of a damn miracle.

Here are a couple of post drafts from this past week:

- L- smells like a farm today, and for once, it had nothing to do with our hygiene habits. We went to Schshephvpfff Farms (okay I'm too lazy to look up the proper spelling of Schnepf, but seriously, you're charging 12 bucks for a pie. Buy a vowel). It was some much needed Koppa time with my dad, and she had a blast, as kids on farms tend to do.

I'm not sure why I didn't finish this one. Probably because I forgot my camera, and I was too lazy to rely on Word Power to express how Autumny our day was. Whatever, the point was, she had fun, and she stunk afterwards.

- Kitchens hate me. Today I decided to get off my butt and make a real meal for my family that did not include dialing a phone or any form of powdered cheese. And I'm totally aware of the lameness that accompanies me when I use the obvious pun that the whole ordeal went to pot.

Yeah, this one was going to be about how I tried to make spaghetti without ingredients, utensils, or time. It was funny at the time, but the moment has absolutely passed.

- Everything is downstairs, and I'm sort of running out of excuses to be lazy and useless.

Apparently, not following through on a blog posts fulfills my lazy and useless quotient. I really don't even know where I was going with this one. I'm just glad I stopped.

- Five years ago today, I woke up on the floor of a hotel room, on a makeshift bed of couch cushions and a thin gray blanket. I showered quickly, wishing I hadn't forgotten to pack a razor, and fought with the hotel blow dryer before giving up and deciding on a bobby pin to hold back my too-short bangs. My sisters told me the night before that my dress needed ironing, and they would try to see if their hotel had one they could borrow, but I decided that morning not to worry too much about it. My dress was my first attempt at making anything REAL on a sewing machine, and I had screwed up the neckline beyond repair, even after I paid a seamstress $80 to make an attempt at it.

No, I wasn't going to worry about anything that morning, not even my dress. I wasn't going to worry that I didn't know the train schedule. Or where to find the Registrar's building in Dunfermline, I hadn't even thought about where we would all eat, or how we would get back to our hotel in Edinburgh. No, no worries. On the morning of October 9, 2003, the only thing I could think about was that I was finally going to marry my best friend

This was to be the anniversary post. Then Eric decided to take the day off. Writing a blog took a backseat.

- Things L- Says:
1. "Uncle Erik, you're MARRIED now" (after his girlfriend went home)
2. "

I think L- decided to sit on her brother or something before I could write out the rest, because I know I had a list of things to share. Now I can't remember any of them. This one wasn't even the cutest. Lame.

Well, there you go. Crappy Blog Posts That Were Never Meant To Be. You're Welcome.

P.S. Did you see Jesus? Yeah, me neither. Maybe I'll try making some tortillas later today though, because I'm feeling lucky.


diane said...

Know what I took from that? That you are making tortillas tonite. Mmmmm....
Thanks for finally posting. :-)

diane said...

Oh yeah, happy belated anniversary!

Scarlet said...

I really want to go to schnepf farms to pick out a pumpkin this year and your post of the odor has not deterred me. Now if only I knew where it was.

Jillsywillsy said...

Happy anniversary.

Mama's Place said...

Thanks for uplifting my dreary spirit. You are the best...

Katy said...

First thing's first, you made your wedding dress? I want to see pictures please. Second, I saw the virgin mary and she's got to count for something. Third, thanks for the schnnnephefh laugh.

Kristin said...

Oh, Nay....I remember that hotel room/makeshift bed on the floor/awesome trip to Scotland, and really want to go back some day. It was a wonderfully charming wedding in one of the most gorgeous places in the world. I love that you wore Converse shoes, and still chuckle at your hilarious urgency to get the hell away from us and have Eric all to yourself...ew.

Becca said...

I'm with Katy on the pictures. Oh, and happy belated anniversary!

Sarah Beau Bera said...

R - sometimes I have to stop reading and leave a comment if I have just read something funny that I love. In these cases you may get two comments from me on the same post. So I just read "you charge $12.00 for pie, buy a vowel". And can I say I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR! Ok I am off to read the rest of the post.

eric said...

This is like a blog bootleg set. Either that or a lazy sitcom flashback episode. I actually like both, though.

mrsmouthy said...

Who cares if you can't make dinner? You MADE your frigging wedding dress??!! Like, WOW!

And I've actually started but not finished a lot of comments on your blog, so the world is still in balance. :)