Best of Keeping It Virtual 2

This is a post from March 28, 2006. And so, enjoy:

Hakuna Matata
Current mood: Mane-ly alright. hahaha....lions...


So last night at IHOP, Eric and I were seated behind a meeting of the Lion's Club. And I started to get slightly jealous. Not of their uber-yellow, ultra-hip Lion's Club vest, though I did think they were very flattering over those slouching shoulders. No, I was actually jealous of the fact that these people will be guaranteed a really nice, guest-filled funeral. How sick is that? Seriously, there must be something wrong with me. But all I could think was, "They are so lucky that they don't have to worry about empty chairs." Not that I worry too much. I know my family will come to mine, and Eric's of course, a couple of friends, and a few people from the ward would most likely show up and bring potatoes. But if I was in the Lion's Club, I'd have EIGHT more people who cared. It's not a numbers game, but I do like the idea that there would be a whole row of chairs that would not be empty.

I guess I should be sticking with the theme of self-pity here, but actually, as I think about it, my funeral won't be so bad really at all. I mean, it's quality, not quantity right? And I'm pretty sure I'll outlive my co-lions, so really it'd just be a club where I go to other people's funerals. Yeah, my present condition is looking better and better. I guess the grass isn't always greener, and in the end, I'm six feet below the grass anyway, so I'm not too worried about it anymore. Thanks blog, for helping me sort that out.

And just so rumors don't start flying, no, I'm not obsessed with death, and I'm not depressed, and I'm not dying, and if I was, I'm not asking anyone to send a donation to the Lion's Club in lieu of flowers. Send the flowers. Yellow, red, and white tulips.