Lessons I Learned That Have Nothing To Do With Daytime Television

If you're anything like me, you probably stopped watching Dr. Phil about five seconds after you watched your first episode.  That theme song starts up, and I swear to you, my brain shuts off.  Sure, I've watched a full episode here or there, but I promise you, I have no idea what was said in those episodes.  Something about barrels of hay and denial and cow tipping.  Probably.  Does he even know?  I kind of doubt it.  

I don't normally get my psych advice from a jock, but tomorrow I'll tune in, because this lady who wrote this book about living with my same eye thing is going to be on there, and when I heard about it, my first reaction was one of, "Aw suck" because I, ME, THIS PERSON wanted to write the inspirational book about dealing with being a freak of nature.  SHE STOLE MY THUNDER WAAAAHHHHH.

Obviously, I have some issues to work through before I can write said book, so I guess I'm kind of happy for her or whatever.  And maybe by the time I write my book, people will have forgotten about her and Dr. Phil, and I KNOW Oprah doesn't bother watching that show anymore, so there's still a chance I'll get to be on her show, which, really now Jennifer, you gotta shoot for the stars, or you'll end up, well to be frank, on Dr. Phil.  

Me jealous?  Nah. 

 Okay, maybe.  

Book Deal WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

But I'll watch, because I need inspiration...  Just kidding - I'll watch so I can totally steal some of her key phrases and then use them when I get on Oprah.  SUCKA!  Didn't even see me coming.