Friday, March 4, 2011


You know what my kids like these days? Gogurt. And you know what I'm feeling a lot of? Gogurt Hatred.

First, Gogurt is trashy. Let's face it. My kids are DRINKING sugary sour cream from a plastic tube with a Nickelodeon character's face on it. That right there is enough to be, like, "I give up, here kids, have some Crocs. Have all the Crocs."

Second, the name Gogurt makes me cringe to the point that I'm sure my face will stay that way if I hear it again. "Mom, can I have some Gogurt?" NOOOOOO! No, you can't, because it's called YOgurt, and when you call it Gogurt, you set the English language back twenty paces past anything LOLCat ever did. (I love LOLCat... that is not the point.)

Third, that noise they make when they suck on the plastic. Oh my goodness, that NOISE. My top three worst Noises are 1) Gunshots 2) AIDS 3) That noise when my kids suck on the plastic Gogurt tube.

In summation Gogurt is disgusting, and I hate it.

And yes, maybe I DID just unknowingly step on a half-eaten tube of it, and failed to realize it until after trekking pink passion flavor all over the hallway, and now I'm just taking my embarrassment out on a harmless dairy-like product.

...but you have to admit, it is a stupid name for food.


The Wizzle said...

I can't bring myself to buy them, for all these reasons and more, butIi don't know what they are. I know Gogurt is gross though.

Anonymous said...

So with you. I've never bought it in my life, but Kevin came home with a pack of it last week. I keep sticking it in his lunch so he can see what it feels/sounds like to suck your lunch out of a plastic tube, and he keeps sending it back home. It's on.

Sarah Beau Bera said...

buy the yoplait in big containers, add water, stir in plastic cup, put a straw in it and tie your kids to the kitchen chair until it is finished. That is what I always do. I should mention my kid doesn't eat anything.

witticism here said...

We were at a bday party and they had Gogurts. I tried one slurp and thought I was going to hurl. This is another reason why I think kids' bday parties are the gateway to hell.

Anonymous said...

Hey yo, I sent you an e-mail about our upcoming visit plans; just wanted to make sure you got it. I'm not sure which address I used.

Heath said...

I have nothing bad to say about Gogurt because I've traveled to the Moon and they saved me from starvation.

Brissa said...

hahaha. in high school my parents would buy us yogurt and i would be forced to eat it. i agree with all your points for hating it and would like to add: i never get enough yogurt and the flavors are naaasty.

and yes, mr. franco's degrees are so, SO attractive. the fact that he keeps going back makes me weak at the knees. i hope you like flyboys (if you haven't already seen it!)