Tuesday, August 10, 2010


You guys, I'm losing her.

She is only five, and I'm already losing her innocence and her sweetness and her charm.

She doesn't have a set schedule. Half the days, she doesn't even know who will pick her up from school. Sometimes she gets home, and I am so tired that I just want to lay down on the couch, so I turn on the TV, and she is absorbed by Spongebob for two hours. Then we sort of eat dinner. Then we sort of do homework. Then we sort of go to bed, if we think to remember to do so. Nothing is scheduled, nothing makes sense, and I feel completely lost, so I can't even imagine how a five year old must be feeling.

She isn't listening in school. Her teacher has always warned me of her behavior. Today, one of my best friends informed me that my kid "sassed" her. We can't go a day without hearing "YOU HATE ME!" or "I HATE YOU!" or both.

I want to get back on track. I was really on the way to being a fantastic mom, and then I lost sight of the important things. I'm losing her, because I've lost myself.

I need guidance and support, so I can offer the same to my kid, who is full of potential, and who I am failing miserably.



diane said...

If I was a fantastic (or even decent) mom then I could give you good advice. Sorry.

What I can say is that I have seen even the best moms having children that struggle in school and that say things like "I hate you" et al. Being a subpar mom, I have heard it from mine often enough that I just roll my eyes now when they say I hate them. (I am one of those mean moms that don't let me kids "express themselves" by saying they hate me - when they say those words I put them in their room right away, so they haven't pulled that one in forever.)

Try to remember that your children are their own beings and not an extension of you. And it sounds like you need BIG mommy support right now. Maybe a break that rhymes with Bingo? Whatever you do, give yourself some slack. It will not always be this crazy or this hard. Life is insane at this moment, but it will not last. Promise.

Love to you. ♥♥♥

Kristin said...

I wish I had some experience in this field so that I could offer some golden nuggets of tried and true wisdom, but I don't. The only parenting knowledge I have comes from being parented and from Super Nanny. So with that in mind, I would say that there's been some changes in the household with school, daycare, her school starting, etc., there's always talk about kids needing structure to feel secure. So if there's any way to place some structure where you can, that may help? Len's a good girl; she's probably acting out because she's testing boundaries. Oh, and I agree with Diane - I wouldn't have ever been allowed to say I hate my mom or dad, or vice versa.

I wish I could offer more, but just know that I can offer an ear and shoulder anytime you need them.

Sheri_Beri said...

I'm with both and big hugs Renee! Come play bingo on Friday :D ...

Anonymous said...

So I check your blog from time to time and I just have to say that I know at times it is difficult being a mom. James just left for military training and being a single mom is not easy at all. I am so sorry you can't be home with them. I know that you loved being there with them. Just make sure Lennon knows you love her. She is only acting out because things have changed. My own kids are going through their own struggles because their daddy is gone. I know you and the kind of mom you are. You just need to let her know you are there for her and she will work through this. Good luck Renee! Don't get too down on yourself. Your a great mom!

Anonymous said...

Oh and btw this is Heather Craig. I don't know why it came up anonymous.

witticism here said...

Hey Nee. Hang in there. I know when I go back to school and the schedule shifts and I get lazy from exhaustion that things get tense. This is the time I don't feel bad indulging on that extra bit of caffeine to give me a little bit more energy.

I apologize if it sounds that my advice was to go drink a Coke. I just want you to know that I have been there and I am with you.

mrsmouthy said...

She probably just needs military school.

You're welcome; you owe me 40 bucks.