Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Why My House Is The Best

I might be able to start the school next week, depending on how quickly my VR counselor can process paperwork. Otherwise, I will have to wait at least another couple of months. I can't decide which one I need to will into Being using The Secret. Whatever, the reason you don't think it works is BECAUSE you don't think it works. Or something.

I really love having the mornings with my kids. Sesame Street glows on the TV while the dishwasher hums and the ceiling fan cools our little wolf den. Harrison molds to my arms while we lay lazily on the couch, and I can concentrate on the sound of his breathing while I soak in the smell that still lingers from his nighttime bath. I am going to miss mornings. Oh God, how I will miss mornings.

And lunchtime. Lunchtime as a stay-at-home mom might be my favorite thing. I love that point when the living room gets bright, and the neighborhood is alive with sounds of garbage trucks and kids playing at the park, and the sink is full of morning dishes, and we have to move playdoh cut-out shapes off to the side to make room for our grilled cheese and juice. I love that everyone is dressed, and the house smells like windex, but looks like the toy aisle at Target threw up. Yeah, lunchtime without Harrison won't be the same.

And let's be honest, naptime is really the best. The AC bumps on, and the house is quiet, and I get to write or play stupid Facebook games and I really feel like Time belongs to me.

I will miss the walks to and from school, and the sound of the birds outside my window, and the feeling of waking up and knowing I have time to cuddle Lennon before we have to get her ready. I am spoiled by this good life, and change will not be easy.

But I hope that I can find things I love about going to school. I hope I get excited to see the friends I plan on making there. I hope I look forward to the commute, because it will give me time to think or read. I hope I look forward to learning new things, and teaching others what I've learned.

I feel like I'm trading great for good. People have had it worse. I'm happy and calm, despite my concerns. I'm just grateful for one more week.

2 comments:

mrsmouthy said...

It will be okay, Renee.

(Because I'm willing it to be okay.)

witticism here said...

I think you are going to love it. Really. I am excited for you.