OH! Because it's ME! I'm going to blind school tomorrow. I feel like Mary did when Pa dropped her off in Mankato in the Little House classic episode "I'll Be Waving As You Drive Away." TEARJERKER! Eric should totally be freaking out, because there's at least one blind guy named Adam where I'm going. Just joking Eric. I just think adultery humor is hilarious. When I'm saying it. Not when you do. Just so you know.
It's been so stressful trying to get in, but chances are good that if you ever go blind, the same would not be true for you. I just happen to have the most unhelpful VR counselor ever to walk the State. She likes me to do everything myself. Look for daycare, set up transportation, balance the state budget... I got zero counseling or assistance on these issues, which is funny, because that's kind of like ALL she has to do in her job. But when I do try to do this stuff for myself, and I set everything up, and I offer choices, and I try to make difficult decisions, she gives me reasons why I'm doing it all wrong, and then she turns a fan on my house of cards and I end up spending $80 a week telling my therapist all about it, only to hear him say "Why is this woman so miserable??" In other words, I feel like this might be $80 spent on the wrong person.
But despite her efforts to bring me down and many attempts on her part to disqualify me from State services, I have succeeded in starting my time at the school of my choice. This is where I break the white cane over my knee and yell a primal scream and pump my fists in the air like Rocky. Eye of the Tiger by Survivor, optional.
Now Dinosaur must face his biggest challenge: No, not bedtime. The challenge is Me. My own Issues about going blind, and the personal challenges I will have to overcome. (Bedtime? What a stupid answer. You're so stupid.) (Click the link. It's my favorite kid's book ever. Harrison's too.)
I don't want to wake up at 5. I don't want to miss my kids. I don't want to wear a blindfold all day, or develop braille callouses, or face my inevitable blindness. That part sucks. I'm driven now, because of how hard it was to get here, and because of what this will mean for my future and for my family, but oh man, it sucks in a lot of ways.
Not as much as it sucked for Mary, mind you. But nothing sucks as much as ANYTHING Mary goes through. Little House, thank you for giving me Mary. Even if she does claim that Paradise Lost is one of her favorite books, and I therefore find anything she says to be uncredible.
So anyway, my life ain't as bad as Mary's. For which I'm grateful. But I will still be a busy, tired, maybe irritable person for the next nine months. The best part is? You get to read all about it. And that's why we're blogging friends.
Wish me luck.