Comments

At one point, I was going to devote an entire post to the things Mrs. Mouthy says in my comments section. She's a funny, funny lady. As evidenced by the comments in my last post, where she says something that makes me laugh slightly harder than the comment her husband left. Hope that settles the dispute, you two. Now go eat your pear and endive roast beast or bing something about zombies or whatever you two do for fun these days. The truth is, I'm funnier than either of you, so the point is truly moot.

But Mrs. Mouthy isn't the only thing you miss when you don't read the comments section. For instance, you may have missed the comment my husband left that explained what the repairman said, and how we both hope that my metaphor is flawed, because if my psychologist tells me I'm leaking oil and my motor is shot, I'll be forced to make another period joke.

It's true. We'll need to play taps for the ol' washing machine. It's kaput. Done for. Dead. Gone. Worm food.

And now I have the task of finding a new washing machine. And I'm taking recommendations. You should probably know that I'm feeling incredibly sick to my stomach about having to replace the washer before the dryer, thus NOT HAVING A MATCHING PAIR. I feel like my life is going to be totally off balance until the dryer goes out too. I'm getting the sweats just thinking about it.

I want something energy efficient that will easily and effectively wash a king size comforter, for the price of something that is just slightly better than beating my clothes against rocks. Also, nothing digital. And if it comes with a free matching dryer, EVEN BETTER.

Now I'm going to wave my hands like a magician and shut my eyes real tight until it just happens.

Comments ACTIVATE!

*peeking*

Oh fine. I'll do the research myself. Maybe you can use the comments section to make me laugh instead. I could use a good joke or two. Preferably something about how washing machines who decide to break during the most stressful week ever don't make it to heaven. You fill in the specifics. Make it horrific and painful and hilarious. Thanks.