Thursday, August 20, 2009

Poor Kid

For the past week, I have been telling Lennon to buy her lunch at school.  They've been serving things I know she would eat, like grilled cheese and pizza sticks, so I thought I was doing her a favor, while simultaneously saving myself five minutes in the morning, and an entire $1.75 for the loaf of bread and juice boxes. 

I checked her account the other night, to make sure she had enough in there to cover the next day, and to my surprise, the amount had been unchanged since the first day of school, when I put in $10.  

So, I bring my findings to my kid.  Who tells me, "I DO eat lunch.  They give me a peanut butter sandwich and milk and some crackers."  Which, you guys, is the same lunch they give to the kids who forgot their lunch money or lost their lunch tote or came to school in bare feet and oversized potato sacks (hand-me-down potato sacks).  

THEY THINK MY KID IS THE POOR KID!

That shouldn't bother me.  I'm not a classist or anything.  But she CAN afford lunch, and I DO care that she has one, and I totally GET that the free peanut butter sandwich is there for any kid who needs it, because things come up, but everyone knows it's like, the emergency lunch.  It's the infomercial of lunches.  You watch an informercial because there is nothing else on, and sure, it's not terrible, but nobody like, puts an informercial on their TIVO.  Nobody intends on an informercial.  

And yet, Lennon is telling the lunch lady that she has no money, and no lunch, for the express purpose of obtaining a peanut butter sandwich made on a hamburger bun, and some saltines.  

At what point do I just assume the role of negligent mother that she has assigned to me?  

11 comments:

The Wizzle said...

Hilarious.

I bought a $40 lunchbox for Devlin this year - it almost killed me, but I wanted him to have a good healthy lunch without a bunch of baggies going in the trash every day, and lids for him to lose, etc etc. So I got him this awesome lunchbox, and then the second day of school I put yogurt in one of the containers and FORGOT THE LID. So he got to lunch and had a yogurt explosion all over his sandwich and everything was inedible. So I thought I was looking cool and being so health conscious and snazzy and instead we just look like morons.

Best laid plans, my friend.

Ern said...

Does Lennon know that she has "credit"? Or does she think that since she doesn't have paper money that she doesn't have any money at all? Maybe you should email her teacher??

meghan said...

This was fantastic. Thanks for the laugh!

Eric said...

We have kids?

Cath said...

I love that story! Someday I'll tell you what Rachel told her school nurse.

Scarlet said...

I am not sure about classes or which trumps which but I think that poor kid is better than smelly kid.

diane said...

Mine have had reduced or free lunches since they began school. I am so ok with them being the poor kids, I make them eat breakfast there too.

Renee said...

Diane, You're talking about the free lunch, where the mom cared enough to get the paperwork in so your kids can eat the same balanced meal that the other kids who paid $2 are eating.

I am talking about the free lunch where your kid gets the pity look from the cafeteria workers.

mrsmouthy said...

Sweet! She's totally going to come home with a backpack loaded with school supplies, and she might even score some pre-wrapped gifts at Christmastime!

jasmine said...

haahahahaha! oh my gosh, that's hilarious.

thanks for the super sweet comment, by the way. :)

Becca said...

I remember having to eat the poor kids lunch once. I cried. The great thing about this is that Lennon has no idea. I bet she was perfectly happy eating her pb&j on a hamburger bun. :) (When did they throw saltines into the mix? I never got saltines)