Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Lessons I Learned That Have Nothing To Do With Daytime Television

If you're anything like me, you probably stopped watching Dr. Phil about five seconds after you watched your first episode.  That theme song starts up, and I swear to you, my brain shuts off.  Sure, I've watched a full episode here or there, but I promise you, I have no idea what was said in those episodes.  Something about barrels of hay and denial and cow tipping.  Probably.  Does he even know?  I kind of doubt it.  

I don't normally get my psych advice from a jock, but tomorrow I'll tune in, because this lady who wrote this book about living with my same eye thing is going to be on there, and when I heard about it, my first reaction was one of, "Aw suck" because I, ME, THIS PERSON wanted to write the inspirational book about dealing with being a freak of nature.  SHE STOLE MY THUNDER WAAAAHHHHH.

Obviously, I have some issues to work through before I can write said book, so I guess I'm kind of happy for her or whatever.  And maybe by the time I write my book, people will have forgotten about her and Dr. Phil, and I KNOW Oprah doesn't bother watching that show anymore, so there's still a chance I'll get to be on her show, which, really now Jennifer, you gotta shoot for the stars, or you'll end up, well to be frank, on Dr. Phil.  

Me jealous?  Nah. 

 Okay, maybe.  

Book Deal WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

But I'll watch, because I need inspiration...  Just kidding - I'll watch so I can totally steal some of her key phrases and then use them when I get on Oprah.  SUCKA!  Didn't even see me coming.

5 comments:

Becky said...

I know! I am looking forward to seeing her on Dr. Phil - loved her book. We need YOUR book too.

diane said...

She sucks. And I will totally buy 2 copies of your book.

-------

I lied. If you write a book I will be expecting a free and signed copy to be presented to me at a grand event.

Love you!

mrsmouthy said...

Shoot! I wish I had read your blog in a timely manner so I could have tuned in too.

Also, I just called the publishing world, and they said it's very commonplace for there to be more than one book on any given subject. And the second one is ALWAYS the best.

mrsmouthy said...

Wait a minute...today IS Thursday! Dr. Phil? Yoo-hoo, Dr. Phiiiiiil! I'm coooooming!

Sarah Beau Bera said...

So here is what often happens: Renee writes a post, I read it, I realize that Renee and my husband think alike. I tell my husband to go read Renee's blog. He doesn't though because you can't access your blog through ESPN.com. Anyway my husband calls him Dr. Full, and is very upset that Dr. Full wrote a diet book.