Friday, November 14, 2008


Here's Harrison about to hit Donald Duck. (DUCK!!)

Here's Harrison actually hitting Snow White.

Here's Harrison and me doing nothing particularly exciting.


Huh? What?

***PSSSSSST Renee!!! Up here***

What? Where? What? Huh?

***Renee!! PSSST!! Stop moving your head from side to side and look up here. How the heck are you going to see anything moving your head like that anyway??***

Up whe... Um.... Wait, is that my PICTURE talking to me?

***Yes, it's me, Picture You. Or rather, Picture Me. I've been given permission to address you, in blog form, to address a very real problem you have been ignoring for far too long.***

I'm kind of freaking out right now.

***Then just listen, and let Picture Me do the talking.***
***See, the thing is, there aren't a lot of Picture Mes out there. You don't get in front of a camera very often. And, well, that's been a mistake for you. Because, and I don't know how to say this kindly, you are a mess, and I don't think you realize that, because you rely on mirrors. Which don't show your bottom half. Which means, you can't see that your jeans? They are not okay.***


***I feel bad that you have to hear this from me, a picture of you. Especially in front of all these people. But it needs to be said. Your jeans don't fit right. I know that's party the fault of our lack of junk in our trunks, But all those Gossip Girls are lacking the junk, and they still look good in jeans, so you can't totally blame the figure, or lack thereof.***

This is pretty embarrassing, but I'm glad you brought it to my attention, Picture Me. But now I'm totally lost. What am I supposed to do? I mean, these are Old Navy jeans, promised to fit everyone just right. Is the color? The cut? the size?

***I don't really know. I'm just Picture Me, which is basically you, but in picture form. I don't know anything you don't know. If anything, I'm just a more negative version of you. So I've kind of already given up. I just thought you should know. My time is up. See you at Christmastime, when you accidentally end up in the background of someone's picture of Lennon opening presents.***

Oh. Okay. Thanks Picture Me.

You guys, I know you could see all that. That was freaky. But what's even scarier is that I've been wearing the wrong jeans for my body for like, at least the past ten years. What am I supposed to do about this???

Can someone who knows something about jeans tell me what I'm doing wrong exactly? I need brutally honest, but with a silver lining. But, like, not a silver lining on the actual jeans, because that's sounds kind of 80's.


Renee said...

I know you guys are doing close ups of my jeans, so I want to explain that the brown thing on there? Totally probably poop. I mean, it MIGHT be baby food. There's a good CHANCE it's just squash. But the reality is, it's more likely poop. Welcome to babies.

Renee said...

Also, I know that says "party" and not "partly" but i have edited this thing way too much And I think it shows up on Google reader everytime I republish. Dumb.

diane said...

Re-edit away if you feel like it. Most of us are too dumb to know anything about google reader.
As far as finding the right jeans - good luck. I usually get my jeans as hand-me-downs from Mom, Sheri, and occasionally Vicky. This is extremely comical since Mom and Vicky are a couple inches shorter than me. So I rarely get a choice in picking out jeans that fit right.
Plus I have way TOO much junk in my trunk so I have a problem just finding pants to accomodate the tush and thighs. TMI, I know.
Godspeed on this brave journey.

Kristin said...

Nay, I'm here to help. Now, I don't know much about skinny girl jeans, so I searched out a response for you. First, I found a blog from a lady who appears to have the same problems finding good jeans, especially for her body type.

She says, "A couple of my friends told me about a store called, Buckle. From first glance of the storefront it wouldn't seem like the place to house the BEST JEANS EVER. It sells trendy clothes for both young men and women, and seems to be skewed to the 21 and younger crowd. Not your typical "I'm a mom" store. Anyway, I went in.

The sales associate was very friendly and was ready to help me find the right fit of jeans. She went off and pulled at least six different styles for me to try on, along with some shirts she thought I may like. It was actually nice to get such great customer service! Of course, come to find out they work on commission, but I didn't care. It was a nice change from searching the clearance clothing rack on my own at Target.

Anyway, I fell in love with my soon-to-be pair as soon as I put them on. They're the BKE "Kate" jeans. From the front they look like slimming, trendy low-rise. But in the back they're cut a little higher, so my bootie stays in check. The length was too long--but, Buckle will hem them for FREE! They pinned them to my length and had my new jeans ready within few days."

So - I looked it up, and Buckle has stores at all the malls in the valley. Maybe you should go and try them out? These folks seem to know their business.

Becca said...

I'm with you on finding jeans that fit. It's such a pain. When I find them that fit right, it's like hey do these come in any other shades of blue?? And then I buy them up. I like aeropostale jeans because I'm able to buy the same cut of jeans but they change them up a bit within that cut, i.e different pockets. And stupid question, but was Disneyland as empty as it looks?

Katy said...

Like every woman, I too have jeans issues. When I find a pair that fit, I buy them up.. like Becca. The best jeans, hands down, HANDS DOWN are z cavaricci. They have every size under the sun, they have a bit of stretch in them, different cuts and styles, theyre about $55 bucks a pop, more than old navy, but not completly crazy. Mid-rise. Find a store that has them and go try them on. Hopefully they'll work for you. PS, the jeans you have on aren't bad. I think they're fine.

Scarlet said...

I was a little more concerned about your Mr. Rogers style cardigan. But then again it could be a tribute to him as a wonderful man or it could just be nippy in the happiest place on earth so I decided it was infact acceptable. I am currently wearing some Target Mossimo jeans and they are probably pretty dupey. But they are comfortable and not highwaters so I will wear them for now. I pre-mommy era was a huge fan of gap jeans. But now I couldn't squeeze my hips in to save my life. So as I ramble I have realized that none of these things are remotely helpful so I am done.

Ern said...

I don't think your jeans are bad, like you say they are. Maybe just ditch the black converse, which have been a staple of your wardrobe since '96.??? ...I think you have a cute figure, Nee, and I wish I didn't have junk to fit in my trunks. I envy you. If I were you, I'd get some jeans that were slightly tighter, aka showed off your cute, skinny legs! I don't mean skinny jeans...something with a straight leg/boot cut, NOT tight jeans that look like denim leggings... I loved the 3/4 sleeve cardy with the plaid shirt. So cute!